The high has disipated. The air has calmed. The hustle and bustle has ceased. The heaviness has lifted. The holiday season has come to a close.
BUT
Expectations now fill the room.
Leading up to the final months of the year, you’re continually asked…
“What are you going to be for Halloween”
“What are your plans?”
“How was your holiday?”
“How was your trip?”
“What traditions did you celebrate?”
“What are your new years resolutions?”
The questions never seem to end. The expectations for what the days ahead will look like. The expectations for how to make it all magical. The pressure for it to be perfect.
Then come the promises. The “this year” mentality fills the space. The resolutions.
The year has come to an end. A new one is beginning.
But what if after that high has left, you are now filled with an emptiness. An emptiness that shows up as a shadow. It follows you through your home. It follows you through the halls. It follows you through each room you visit. It just seems to consume you. It consumes your every thought and your every action. You didn’t even make any resolutions this year because frankly how often do they actually stick.
But hey, you made it. You made it through another year.
You survived.
I survived.
2025 started out in an abyss.
It took some time. It took some digging. It took some pain. It took some guts….
BUT I finally made it out of the tunnel. I fought through the darkness. I fought through the tears. I saw the changes. I weeped for the good days and the bad days. I felt the grief. The grief of a chapter ending, but also a new one beginning. I finally found peace. I finally found joy. I would have thought I’d be excited for the new year since 2025 ended so well. I should be excited for the new year, right?
But the truth is, the expectations just get to me. Maybe it’s because for so long I was just surviving. It was my norm. It was what I thought would continue to be my norm. It’s almost like I don’t know how to let myself be happy and feel happy. I don’t know how to start a year with joy because I can’t remember the last time they have.
I don’t even want to say this year will be different. I don’t want to make any resolutions. I simply want to take each day as it comes. I want to feel the joy that my days might bring. I want to feel the grief that they may bring also.
I want to feel every emotion that will come my way.
I finally can feel more than just sadness. I finally can feel joy, and I can finally just be.
Maybe resolutions are your thing. That honestly is awesome. But for those of you who are like me, I hope you feel today for all it has to offer. I hope you feel every emotion – the good and the bad – and breathe through each moment.
It is a new year, but sometimes a year seems overwhelming. A month can seem overwhelming as well. Even a week is alot sometimes. So take each day. Take each hour as it comes.
Cherish each moment.
Every emotion.
Find one thing today that your tomorrow self will thank you for and allow yourself to live.
Allow yourself to finally breathe.
I guess you could say this technically is a resolution, but it’s unlike one I’ve ever decided to make. So resolution or not, here’s to life. Here’s to every emotion. Here’s the breathing again. Here’s to the new year. Here’s to 2026.
Erica Paige 